CJDaily's Blog

September 15, 2010

Echos from the past…

Filed under: Uncategorized — cjdaily @ 10:00 pm

In college we all had an Easyjournal.  Almost every week we updated eachother on our lives in one of the earliest online blog forums there was.  Now, years later, I just started re-reading the 3 years worth of entries I wrote, and marveling at how different my life is.  How different I am.  I don’t even see myself in those entries, I see this young, hyper girl with shallow thoughts but sincere motives.  I can smile at some of my youthful idealism and cringe at some of my immature ramblings.  Some of the stuff I wrote about doing, I don’t even remember!  There are full entries where I’m raving about how great a date with my boyfriend was, and I’m sitting here scratching my head going, “Huh.  Can’t have been that great, since I don’t even remember it happening!” 

But I came across this one entry that I wrote in early fall, in 2004.  Six years ago, but it might as well be a lifetime.  I’d just graduated from college, I was still working as an model/actress, I was still under 110 pounds!  I was just getting my first real taste of the world, and starting to miss the familiarity of college, and the daily comfort of living with my best friends.  I guess I was looking back and reminiscing, just like I’m doing now, but tonight I was struck by how everything I wrote six years ago is still true today.

Here’s what I wrote in October of 2004:

“The windows to the wall…
Wow, i was reading some old ej entries and at this time last year, Erin and i were bawling our eyes out watching Wuthering Heights, and Theresa was calling us pussies for being such girls… and then she fell in love with the soundtrack when i ordered it!…
Around this time last year… we gave Amanda a bday party she would never forget (even if she’d never remember parts of it, either!)… the countdown to Tammy’s bday began!… the war of the heights was in session…I was learning the joys and insanity it takes to choreograph… we were planning our sexy cellblock halloween… we had our glam, all black night at club mcshea… Theresa had the height decorated to the gills for halloween, and we’d all fallen in love with her cookies… we were all up to our necks in schoolwork and rehearsals… in a week or so we’d be beach-bound for Erin’s gorgeous senior project…
Ahh… i miss my girls… life now is slow and predictable, and filled with much less giggling, boxed wine, dance parties, and girly nights… i don’t get to watch disney movies at night w/ Kate anymore, nor can i run upstairs and hump Erin in her bed… or anyone at all, wherever they happen to be standing!… i don’t miss the shower that scalded your ass every ten seconds, but i do miss our cluttered, girly bathroom… i don’t miss freezing my butt off in my own bedroom cause someone has the door open again, but i do miss our crazy cool room, and how Kate always wanted to move the furniture around… i don’t miss the tons of schoolwork we’d all be bitching about, but i miss our lazy sunday nights when we’d all pile onto Jess’s couch and watch Oxygen, and ask Theresa where she hid her latest batch of cookies… I think most, i miss Thursday nights, getting dressed up, (every girl in someone elses tank top/stilettos/hot pants, etc…) and being the first out on the dancefloor, tossing our hair and shaking our thang like we were the shit–cause, hell, we were! If we could get together again and do anything, i’d say lets go back to Montana West for a night and be girly again…
Ahh… Kate, Laurie, Erin, Jess, Theresa, Tammy, Cem, and Steph too, i miss ya’ll… much love…”
Every last word of that is still true today, and I am so, so, so glad that next month I am going to get to do JUST THAT with my girls… go out and dance like we’re still twenty-two, and, even if just for the night, all go back to the same place, and sit and talk ’til dawn.  Back then, wherever my girls were was home, and just for one more night, we’re going to be home again. 
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