CJDaily's Blog

June 17, 2010

Doe, a deer.

Filed under: Uncategorized — cjdaily @ 10:35 pm

It’s official… I’m living in an animated film.  Not because of the adorable stone cottage in the woods.  Not because of the handsome man who cooks for me and thinks I’m beautiful when I feel like roadkill.  Not because I wear flowy dresses and wander barefoot through the fruit trees, carrying a basket of flowers.  These things contribute to the fairy-tale, but they don’t certify it.  You know what makes it all a bona-fide Disney movie?

The animals.  You can’t conjure those up.  They’re either there or they’re not.  And we have them in spades.  There’s the swallows nest up in a loose board in the front porch.  There’s the starlings who live under the eaves by the kitchen.  The groundhogs who live under the shed.  The snake in the woodpile.  The toad in the basement.  The bats in the attic.  The chipmunk in the living room.

Oh wait, what was that last one?  Yes that’s right, the CHIPMUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM.   We knew a chipmunk family, nay, a colony of chipmunks lived all over our 2 acres–under the front porch, under the gazebo, in the stone fence–you can’t step outside without sending a startled chipmunk bounding for cover.  But 2 weeks ago Jesse and I and were standing in the kitchen when I suddenly saw something small go leaping across the living room floor.

“Jess!” I grabbed his arm and hissed, “There’s a chipmunk in the living room!”

He spun around. “You’re joking.”

“I’m so not.”   The chipmunk had already made a dive for the planter by the wall and was out of sight.  Both of us were frozen to the spot.

“OK, don’t panic!  Don’t panic!”  I’m not sure which one of us he was addressing, but I did my best to remain calm, while wondering if chipmunks were as cute and cuddly as they looked.  If this were one of my favorite movies, the chipmunk would leap into my palm and chirrup his chippy language to me while I sang a song about finding my true love.  But this was not Enchanted, nor was I wearing a dress or even having a particularly good hair day, so I decided upon option number two: defensive action.  I ran and opened the side door, and then Jesse and I spent a good hour darting from corner to corner, trying to convince Pip to rejoin his family in the hollow tree. 

Actually, I stood on the arm of the futon, acting as a look-out, while Jesse brandished a flattened cardboard box to “herd” the chippy out of the room.  And then, just as suddenly as it appeared, it vanished.  The dang thing scampered under the bed and flat-out vanished.  We couldn’t figure out how–maybe it made its way out of the room when we weren’t looking, or found a crack in the wall to squeeze into, but nonetheless, it disappeared.  We don’t even know how it got in in the first place, but it hasn’t been back to visit us. 

The bats are another story.  We were in the backyard one night at twilight and Jesse pointed out a bat as it swooped by.  I was in awe, never having really seen one before.  Then  another swooped overhead, then another.  We both raised our eyes at the same time as he said, “Wait a minute… did you see…?”

I certainly did see.  Our eyes were riveted on the corner of the roof, where yet another bat had just materialized.  It simply seemed to slip out from under a shingle to fly off into the night.  It was followed by another, not ten seconds later.  And then another.  And another.  And another.  It was the Count Von Count’s dream come true.  Jesse looked less than pleased, and I couldn’t stop gasping in amazement–“Look!  Another one!  Fifteen!  Or was that twenty?  Twenty five!” 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jesse groaned.  “It’s like the freaking bat cave up there!”  We lost count after thirty, and Jesse was quite downhearted to discover that our house is a bat preserve.  I have decided however, that the bats can stay.  They don’t bother me in the least, and most importantly, they eat the bugs.  I’ll give them all little pillows and blankets and they can bunk down in the attic for life if it means I have a built-in army of mosquito eaters! 

But perhaps what sealed the deal for me, fairytale-wise, was last Sunday.  I was sitting at the dining room table with Belle, eating breakfast.  Perhaps it was a feeling of being watched, but something made me turn my head to look out the window to my right.

“Oh my.” I choked.  “Erm… good morning.”

The deer was standing on the other side of the window, looking in at me with unconcealed curiosity.  I was sitting there with my fork raised halfway to my mouth, and Belle peering around me in dumbfounded joy. 

“What doing, deer?” Belle asked in a hush.

“It’s looking at us,” I whispered back.  “Maybe it wants our pancakes.”

And right on cue, I kid you not, that deer licked its lips.

Take that, Disney.


1 Comment »

  1. Doe, a deer….

    I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog :)…

    Trackback by World Wide News Flash — June 17, 2010 @ 11:39 pm | Reply

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