CJDaily's Blog

June 7, 2010

Goodbye dignity, hello potty-training…

Filed under: Uncategorized — cjdaily @ 10:30 pm

Nobody bothered to tell me that you don’t get a second to yourself ever again when you become a mother.  Or maybe they did, and I chose to think they were exaggerating.  But I have gotten used to going to the bathroom with an audience.  It is that or try to do my business while a little body is wailing and body-slamming the other side of the locked door.  Rather distracting, really.  So, I just let her follow me into the bathroom, and she usually heads for the sink and turns on the water.  She’ll either wash her hands or brush her teeth, or both, which I don’t bother dissuading her from, as the alternative is having her stand in front of me demanding, “Lemme see!” while I am trying to empty my bladder.  And then she’ll demand to hand me the paper.  It was only with the most vehement of refusals that I convinced her that she would never, EVER, be allowed to help me wipe. 

So tonight we are in the bathroom and I am doing my thing, and she is happily standing on her kiddie-stool in front of the sink, sucking water out of the toothbrush.  I get up and wash my hands, and she grins at me in the mirror and says, “Poopy!” 

I do an automatic air-sniff.  “You have poopy?” I ask, peeking into the back of her diaper.

“No, I not done yet,” she confides.

As the check of her diaper came up clean, I realise she actually hasn’t even begun, and I say in a rush, “Oh do you wanna try going poopy on the potty?”

Unconcerned, she goes back to her tooth-brushing.  “No.”

“Oh Belle, you should really try.  Don’t you wanna try going poopy on the potty like a big girl?”

“Nope.”

Hmm.  “Hannah and Zoe go poopy on the potty.”  (Her pre-school hero’s.)

“No.”

“But all the big girls do it!  Miss Monica and Miss April do it too.” (Her teachers.)

“No.”

Big gulp.  Confession time.  “Mommy does it.”

She doesn’t bat an eyelash.  “No.”

I am a little peeved.  I don’t admit that I poop to just anybody.  “Come on!  Just sit!  Just try!”

“No.”

I take a deep breath and pull out the big guns.  “I’ll give you chocolate if you try.”

She chucks her toothbrush into the sink and whips off her shorts so fast they hit the opposite wall.  In a flash, she is on the potty, wiggling back and forth and chanting, “Chocolate!  Chocolate!”

“Not until you try.”  She hits me with a confused look, and I encourage her.  “Just like you do in your diaper.  Relax.”

And in a few moments, voila!  She poops, she scores!  I cheer like a crazed fan at a sporting event, and she beams with pride.  “Chocolate!  Chocolate!”  she shrieks, and I take a minute to think about whether or not I feel guilty for bribing her into this success.  I don’t, I decide, as the end justifies the means. 

I clean her up and we go share the exultant news with Boppy 1 and Boppy 2.  We call Gigi and leave her a self-satisfied message.  I consider making it my Facebook status, but can’t reconcile myself to a status about feces, no matter how triumphant.  I do have some limits, you know.

I realise this isn’t the end of the battle for us, it is just the beginning, but she’s been doing #1 so well on the potty that if all it takes to get her to do #2 is a stash of M&M’s, then so be it.  Vive la poop!

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3 Comments »

  1. Yayyy Belle! Dude, I would’ve commented all over that facebook status. I’m scared for potty training, I really am. Good luck!

    Comment by Erin — June 8, 2010 @ 9:27 am | Reply

  2. This is EXACTLY how I trained Katie, oh some 22-23 years ago! M&M’s are da bomb! I even have some old video of her asking for them after she went and telling the camera why she was getting to eat candy! Because it works so beautifully, there’s nothing wrong with it in my book!

    Comment by Lori — June 11, 2010 @ 7:48 am | Reply

  3. I am a friend of John Robinson and he pointed me to your blog. I am a mama to two toddlers. We completed potty training last year, but I remember those days all too well. Thank you for sharing your wit and humor on the subject.

    Comment by Penelope — June 13, 2010 @ 5:43 pm | Reply


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