CJDaily's Blog

March 22, 2010

Attack of the Giant Purse Girl

Filed under: Uncategorized — cjdaily @ 9:49 pm

My friend Kate turned me on to this rather hilarious blog written by a friend of hers, who just wrote a blurb on girls with giant purses.  (featured here http://thewittygritty.wordpress.com/2010/03/22/apocapurse/)  As a girl with a giant purse, I found myself nodding in recognition at the list of items found in said giant purse, and noting several omissions.

The bag I carry every day is a large pink, quilted Vera Bradley, the kind I mocked until somebody bought me one, and I became addicted to its giant cavernous depths.  Now, technically this bag is a diaper bag, as it came with a matching baby-changing pad, but Vera Bradley sells an identical tote, sans baby accoutrements, so somebody out there aside from me is using this thing as a basic purse.  And since I do have a baby (ok, a 2 year old) I don’t know if this gets me off the hook as a GPG (giant purse girl.)  But since I admit to carrying it around with me when my child is NOT around, I guess I’m guilty.  Guilty on 2 counts really, one of being a GPG, and another of being too lazy to take all my crap out and put it in a tiny bag for solo excursions. 

Sean made an inventory of all the things he supposed a GPG is slogging around with her on a daily basis, but quite frankly that list was rather brief.  I did my own inventory and will admit to you now what I haul around on a daily basis.  The contents of my bag include:

My phone, my Kindle, a book I am not done reading, a powder compact, mini hand-mirror, lip gloss, chapstick, band-aids, water bottle, camera, usb-cord, several pens, a permanent marker, travel perfume, small comb, breath-mints, sunglasses, keys, assorted change, wallet, bobby-pins, a pony-tail holder, 2 blank greeting cards (and envelopes), a packet of instant coffee, a few packets of Splenda, a bottle of clear nail polish, hand-sanitizer, some Cold-Eeze lozenges, tissues, tampons, and a clean pair of socks.

All that is just for me.  The socks, I admit, are random, but I was going to a friend’s house, and they have hardwood floors, and I thought my feet might be cold, so I tossed them in before I left the house…. hey stop judging me.  I am nothing if not prepared.  Oh, and to be fair, I didn’t itemize the stuff I pack for Annabelle.  The above list was simply MY survival kit.  Wanna hear what else is in my bag?

A baby changing pad, always at least 4 diapers, travel wipes, triple paste, assorted coloring pages, 4 crayons, a sippy cup, stickers, a tiny copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, a snack bar, a few tiny plastic princesses, a toy cell-phone, and Baby Einstein placemats that adhere to any surface so she can keep her food germ-free wherever we go. 

My bag weighs about 15 pounds.  Am I crazy?  YOU BET.  But am I prepared?  Absolutely.  Jesse cut his finger Saturday and was bleeding all over and I whipped out a band-aid for him then and there.  He was like, “Don’t you need that for anything?”  I rolled my eyes at him.  “Honey, THIS is what I needed it for.  I was prepared for THIS moment, right here and now!”

I do not have an umbrella in my bag, but there is one in my car.  Same goes for the extra pair of shoes, a blanket, my address book, and a world almanac.  But the car doesn’t count, just the giant bag.  Am I truly nuts?  Would it be liberating just to toss my keys into a teeny little purse along with my drivers licence and a few bills?  Maybe.  When accompanied by small child, the bag must be present at all times, or bad, BAD things will happen.  But if I were to go out on my own?  Could I leave my quilted island of safety and not worry that if I do, someone will bleed and I won’t be able to fashion a tourniquet out of my hair-band? 

Truth is, I like my giant bag.  I like that a mugger probably couldn’t make off with it for more than a block before getting winded and just leaving it behind.  I like the safety it assures.  I like being able to offer someone a breath mint, or bobby pin, when the situation arises.  It’s like being a tiny savior of social moments.  And if you wanna mock the fact that I can’t make it down the street without unintentionally assaulting several passersby, go right ahead.  But you’re gonna rue the day you laughed when you’re on fire, with a sore throat, bad breath, bad hair, and a thank-you card to write, and I refuse to help you out!

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2 Comments »

  1. Ceej, I love your blog.

    Comment by Erin — March 30, 2010 @ 11:56 am | Reply

  2. write something new already, for criminy sakes!

    Comment by Lori Hitchcock-Mietk — May 6, 2010 @ 10:37 am | Reply


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