CJDaily's Blog

September 9, 2009

Twitter is for stalkers.

Filed under: Uncategorized — cjdaily @ 8:45 pm

I just don’t know how I feel about Twitter.  I feel like you should be a celebrity in order to be allowed to Twitter.  Nobody needs hourly updates on my boring, ordinary life.  If I update my Facebook status every other day, that should be good enough for the people who want to know what I’m up to.  Obviously, anyone who wants to be my cyber friend is already my friend on Facebook.  I have friends on Facebook I know from high school or college, and I know more about their lives now than I did back then.  Way more.  I can see pictures of their weekend fun, and sneak looks at who they’re dating or married to, and see what their kids look like.  It’s a broadcast of your life, in a way, and gives you exposure that was never available when I was in high school.  And sometimes I wonder if it’s necessary.

Does anyone I don’t talk to on the phone really need to know what my life is like?  Why would anyone care?  But then I realise it’s nice to have, because humans are intrinsically curious.  I can, if I want to, check up on these people without them ever having to know it.  Without the hassle of calling them, or emailing, and going through the complicated motions of asking questions and being cheerful, and making fake promises about getting together for coffee sometime.  Facebook dehumanizes human interaction, but it simplifies it as well.  No time to call your good friend this week?  It’s ok, just check her Facebook.  Comment on a recent photo.  Leave a quick message on her page.  You’ve made contact without committment. 

Twitter, now, is different.  It’s like intercepting a text message from someone you’re not cool enough to be real friends with.  Twitter is for stalkers.  Who updates their Twitter hourly?  Celebrities.  On one hand, it’s a way for them to let their fans know what’s up.  “My record is dropping this week!”  “Coming to the UK for my tour this month!”  “Just had lunch with (insert director, producer, actor, reality star) to chat about our new project!” 

Or, in the case of certain adolescent fame-whores, it’s a way to let the news rags know what’s up with your life without having your publicist call them.  I can’t log onto Perez Hilton anymore without ten stories about how Miley and Justin are Twitter-feuding or how Lolhan sent SamRon a cutesy pic via Tweet.  It’s a way for celebs, B thru Z-list, to publicize their lives to the fullest extent.  I mean, let me just point out that, as far as I know, neither Clooney, Brangelina, or Kidman Tweet anything.  Maybe they don’t need the publicity.  Or maybe, like Oprah, who made an account but only posted one or two things, they are too busy actually HAVING A LIFE to care who is “following them.”  It seems to be the people most concerned with their level of fame (cough, Speidi, cough cough) who Twitter madly about their banal existence. 

Is their life more exciting than mine?  Sure.  Probably.  The most exciting thing I did this weekend was buy some cool antique furniture with Jesse.  I’d Tweet about it, but hey, putting it on my Facebook actually got the news out to more people, not that I expect anyone to sit up and go, “You did what?  Bought furniture!  You brilliant woman, you!” (mad applause ensues.)  I haven’t posed for Playboy lately, (ok, ever), or gone on tour, or written a novel (but I’m trying), or done anything the world would see as successful.  So why would anyone need multiple daily updates on what I am doing RIGHT THIS INSTANT? 

If I were to Tweet my daily goings-on they would be something close to the following:

@cjdaily  Just woke up and found only a third of a cup of coffee left in pot.  No time to make more before work.  Very sad and uncaffeinated.  7:45 am

@cjdaily  There’s nothing quite like a job where chances of you getting peed on daily are 50/50.  9:30 am

@cjdaily  If I have to pick up these legos one more time…  10:45 am

@cjdaily  Ahh.  Lunch.  1:30 pm

@cjdaily  Again with the legos.  3:00 pm

@cjdaily  Is it time to go home yet?  4:45 pm

@cjdaily  Counting… the seconds… must… not… scream…  5:29 pm

@cjdaily  Watching The Little Mermaid for the fortieth time this week.  It makes the child happy.  7:30 pm

@cjdaily  Child is now asleep.  Will do something productive as soon as I get off this laptop…  8:30 pm

@cjdaily  Will be productive tomorrow.  Goodnight.  11:30pm


1 Comment »

  1. I think the trick is to find people that are interesting to ‘follow’ people that add value to YOU.

    I agree, no-one really wants to follow someone that just posts what they’re doing in their life like having lunch. They are pointless ‘tweets’ that offer no value to most people.

    Also if you have a lot of people you’re following a great idea is to organise them into groups and just keep up to date with the people you REALLY want to see that offer valuable content to you.

    I see twitter as a great way of finding out information that I wouldn’t have found out otherwise. My interests are blogging, online marketing and social media and I only follow those that fit either my target audience, find interesting and can offer value for me.

    I think people that are using twitter to see what other people are ‘doing’ are under-utilising twitter. There is so much more it has to offer.

    I definitely don’t read every single ‘tweet’ that comes by, that would be ridiculous!

    Comment by Sarge — September 9, 2009 @ 11:43 pm | Reply

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