CJDaily's Blog

August 11, 2009

Nobody said anything about not crying over spilled snacks…

Filed under: Uncategorized — cjdaily @ 9:22 pm

So we are in the kitchen after dinner and Belle is walking around with a tube of Puffs that she has helped herself to from the pantry.  (For those of you not familiar with the snacks in the kids food aisle, Puffs are delicious little puffed grain star shapes flavored like various fruits.  Babies and toddlers go nuts for them.  Remember the inevitable picture from your childhood where youare sitting in your highchair/on the carpet/in the backyard and your fists are stuffed with Cheerios, and they are spilled all around you and down your shirt and you are as happy as Lindsay Lohan at an all out coke-binge?  Well Puffs are this generations Cheerios.)

And yes we did just have dinner, and you’d think Belle would be full, but food that she pilfers out of the pantry is always more tasty than anything I might have offered, and since she mostly fingerpainted with her rice and veggies I was just glad she was eating.  I keep the healthy stuff down low so if she gets into it I’m not too concerned.  I keep the chocolate, rosemary and olive oil triscuits, and street drugs on the higher shelves. 

As she’s snacking, sticking her tiny arm into the long tube of puffed goodness to attain each star-shaped morsel, she wanders by me and I get a whiff and realise it is THAT TIME after dinner.  So I make the executive decision to let her bring the Puffs along upstairs, without the lid.    It’s only half full, I reason to myself, what could go wrong?

(You’re laughing at me already, aren’t you?) 

So we go to the changing table, and she is laying down while I go onto operation mode on this super-stinker.  And do you know what happens next?  You do, don’t you?  That’s right–she dumps them.  While laying down she decides to peer inside the Puffs, which means upending the tube.  Suddenly Puffs are raining down on the changing table and she is so startled she jerks the tube, flinging them everywhere.  I cry out in surprise, but cannot reach out and take the tube away because I am elbow deep in wipees and poo.  Miraculously none of them fall into the mess, and I am changing this diaper at record speed now, trying to get my hands free to take the tube away because she has not learned yet, and is looking to see where all of these treats are spilling from and is dumping the last of them on her face. 

So I get her all cleaned up and in a new diaper and deposit her on the floor while confiscating the Puffs tube.  Puffs are all over the changing table and now I am faced with a dilemma–do I throw them out or put them back in the tube?  On one hand, Puffs are expensive, and I am currently not getting any paychecks.  On the other hand, it’s the changing table, where I change her poopy diapers.  Not that I ever smear poop on the table; I can’t ever recall a time when the table met real feces.  But STILL.  Some people I know (cough, my sister, cough cough) would spray every last Puff down with sanitizer, then run them through the dishwasher, then throw them all out.  In a hermetically sealed bag. 

But I am not quite so obsessive about germs, so I make a compromise.  Using my left hand (the hand that didn’t touch the diaper or wipes) I scoop all the Puffs from the south end where her little rumpus rests and toss them into the diaper genie.  The others that rested on the north end, the “waist-up” end, I put back in the tube. 

Feeling satisfied with my decision, I put the tube down on the ottoman next to Belle and turn aside to grab her sippy cup.  As I am turning around to offer it to her, I hear a slow motion rattling noise… a familiar sound I have heard only just moment before.  The sound of Puffs emptying onto the floor, all over the carpet.  Belle looks up at me guiltily as I utter a frustrated “Augh!  No!” and drop to my knees to retrieve each one. 

It is only halfway through scooping them all back into the tube (again) that I realise I am using my right hand, the hand I have not yet washed after changing Princess Poo.  I let out an even more exasperated wail and sit back on my haunches, totally defeated.

Belle looks at me in sympathy, then down at the Puff covered rug, and back up at me.  Reaching out her arms across the debris, she says, “Hug?”

I hug my penitent child, wondering how I’m ever going to be able to stay mad if she steals my car and goes out for a joyride with her tattooed boyfriend who smokes the reefer, if she continues to be this cute.  Somehow I don’t think downgrading her to Cheerios will really last as an appropriate punishment.  But for NOW, missy?  You are cut off from the expensive snacks!  Nothing but boring whole grain o’s for you!  I will use the extra money I save to buy myself some common sense that will tell me to ALWAYS LEAVE THE LID ON.


1 Comment »

  1. I really was laughing at you at that point…actually I prety much laugh through all your posts! Keep up the great work. I miss you and Belle a lot!

    Comment by Lori Hitchcock-Mietk — August 13, 2009 @ 7:24 am | Reply

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